Banjo Kazooie Diary Entry 1: The world doesn’t always correlate.

So today I began on my heroic quest to save my bear sister Tooty from the wrath of the evil witch Gruntilda with the help of my feathery friend Kazooie. Just another normal day.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen it has begun, DDD14 has finally persuaded me to play Banjo Kazooie (however begrudgingly). So I decided to make a diary of my experience into the game. Just so you know I am emulating this on my laptop and streaming; so keep a lookout for our live streams on twitch TV.

First impressions are hard and when that impression is widely diminished by the feeble attempt at using a Play Station 2 controller as a poor man’s Nintendo 64 controller things can get a little hard. Attempting to use the right analogue stick for the C – Buttons did not go down well. So relinquishing any control of the camera (besides from the R camera lock) I assigned the D- Pad and got ready to enjoy a legend.

I say legend due to how high of a pedestal this game sits on. (Not one gamer I have asked has ever shot this game down. It’s like the Mona Lisa of nostalgic games!) So hit me with your best shot Rare.

Yay item collecting! As a fan of the Jak and Daxter series I have to say a plot based, barely linear game based around collecting various items in well-designed and original levels.

I mentioned that first impressions are hard and Banjo Kazooie is an expert at leaving an impression that’s for sure. Why are they rhyming? These rhymes aren’t even that good, they are predictable at best and others seem to be just too long of a stretch. I suppose I’ll just get used to it.

Skipped the tutorial. Whoops.

To be fair I have no idea what buttons are set to what yet. Turns out A is X and B is Square. Live and learn I guess.

So I beat up some steroid induced vegetables and Kazooie eats the puzzle pieces collected. I soon learn how she (?) disperses eggs and am glad there’s no animation for getting the puzzle pieces back. Whoopy do. Tutorial is over and on to the real game.

First up is Mumbo Mountain. Pretty straight forward. Collect the things using the bear thing or the bird thing. Sometimes you have to use the new move thing to get the thing. After a certain amount of things have been collected you can move on. Some things are easy to spot and other things are more difficult. Easy enough.

Then there’s Treasure Trove Cove. Did I skip a level or something? Because the game difficulty just jumped from easy flowing to fuck it you figure this out. Suddenly more and more game mechanics are thrown at you and even harder puzzles to solve to get the things are added. I feel like I’m drowning in the C – Buttons.  There shouldn’t be this many different game mechanics, it just doesn’t flow.

I don’t know if this is just my bias opinion using a faulty PS2 controller on a laggy emulator but the controls are not up to scratch. Not since the Aqua Man on Game Cube have I seen just terrible swimming controls. Apparently there is going to be an entire level based around it too! Just end it here please. I can’t. It’s just. WHY? If you intend to have an entire level devoted to swimming then please make sure the swimming controls have more than two settings: snail pace and fuck-that-direction-you-wanted-I’m-going-head-first-this-way-and-not-getting-that-egg.

That being said I have yet to find a game with good swimming controls; kingdom hearts was just infuriating to say the least.

So far I’ve only died once (fucking sharks) and I have to say I really enjoy the game. The soundtrack is enjoyable and slowly but surely I am mastering the awkward controls and camera options.

Stay tuned for more Banjo Kazooie Updates.