Banjo Kazooie Diary Five: Having the time of our lives.

Last week I was witty and rhetorical. Fuck doing that this week because I played;

Gobi’s Valley

Let’s play a game. ‘Never have I ever’. You take a shot if you agree with me. Ready?

Let’s go.

Never ever have I ever cursed at a game.

Never ever have I ever lost to unfair time trials because a secret technique was necessary.

Never ever have I ever died because I touched fucking sand.

Never ever have I ever had to restart and entire level when I had over 90 of the notes because the camera bugged out.

Never ever have I missed the water level in Ocarina of Time.

Never ever have I ever died in a maze merely due to the timer running out.

Never ever have I ever spat on a game developers graves.

Never ever have I ever thrown a controller.

Never ever have I wished I could put whatever genius it was that came up with the idea for time trial puzzles/races into a deep, dark pit of hell.

Banjo Kazooie Diary: Two. Waterin-cha glad I didn’t say Orange?

Well I was wrong. Dat water level.

Clanker’s Cavern.

Admittedly I was hesitant to believe I would actually do this level but low and behold I actually completed the level one hundred percent. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. That includes the honey combs. Not mentioning the time I almost drowned due to the crappy camera and REVERSED swimming controls. But Clanker’s Cavern surprised me in being a decent level overall. It wasn’t too difficult and although some bits had me wanting to rip out my hair, I enjoyed it.

I want to make that clearer this time. I may have come off in a Yatzie-ish tone last time where it might have sounded harsher than intended. That was not my intention. I actually enjoy this game quite a bit, in small segments of time at once but that is about it. I just can’t handle large doses.

Banjo Kazooie Diary Entry 1: The world doesn’t always correlate.

So today I began on my heroic quest to save my bear sister Tooty from the wrath of the evil witch Gruntilda with the help of my feathery friend Kazooie. Just another normal day.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen it has begun, DDD14 has finally persuaded me to play Banjo Kazooie (however begrudgingly). So I decided to make a diary of my experience into the game. Just so you know I am emulating this on my laptop and streaming; so keep a lookout for our live streams on twitch TV.