Banjo Kazooie Diary Five: Having the time of our lives.

Last week I was witty and rhetorical. Fuck doing that this week because I played;

Gobi’s Valley

Let’s play a game. ‘Never have I ever’. You take a shot if you agree with me. Ready?

Let’s go.

Never ever have I ever cursed at a game.

Never ever have I ever lost to unfair time trials because a secret technique was necessary.

Never ever have I ever died because I touched fucking sand.

Never ever have I ever had to restart and entire level when I had over 90 of the notes because the camera bugged out.

Never ever have I missed the water level in Ocarina of Time.

Never ever have I ever died in a maze merely due to the timer running out.

Never ever have I ever spat on a game developers graves.

Never ever have I ever thrown a controller.

Never ever have I wished I could put whatever genius it was that came up with the idea for time trial puzzles/races into a deep, dark pit of hell.

Banjo Kazooie Diary Four; The night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Feezeezy Peak,

Not a mole was stirring, not even a squeak.

The jiggies were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that the hero Banjo soon would be there.

The cubs were frantic with despair,

For lost was their poppa bear.

He left with the promise of gifts,

But never returned because he is a right old git.

Turns out he had something stuck in his tummy,

Which BMD found pretty funny.

Well I’ve run out of rhymes so I’ll just get on with this.

Freezeezy Peak.

Banjo Kazooie Diary: Two. Waterin-cha glad I didn’t say Orange?

Well I was wrong. Dat water level.

Clanker’s Cavern.

Admittedly I was hesitant to believe I would actually do this level but low and behold I actually completed the level one hundred percent. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. That includes the honey combs. Not mentioning the time I almost drowned due to the crappy camera and REVERSED swimming controls. But Clanker’s Cavern surprised me in being a decent level overall. It wasn’t too difficult and although some bits had me wanting to rip out my hair, I enjoyed it.

I want to make that clearer this time. I may have come off in a Yatzie-ish tone last time where it might have sounded harsher than intended. That was not my intention. I actually enjoy this game quite a bit, in small segments of time at once but that is about it. I just can’t handle large doses.

Banjo-Kazooie vs. Banjo-Tooie

Let’s take a look at the late nineties of Nintendo. The Nintendo 64 had just been released and 3D gaming was a very rare thing if not unthinkable thing. I was very young at the time the Nintendo 64 first came into being and had only known the NES to exist. Two dimensional gaming was all my little 5 year old head could comprehend at the time. I remember going into a Gamestop video game store for my 5^th birthday and receiving a Nintendo 64 as a gift. The rest of the afternoon was spent with my parents trying to figure out how to connect the thing to the TV. We knew we got it right when the title screen for Super Mario 64 appeared and all we could see was Mario’s giant head.

“It’s a me, Mario!”

Banjo Kazooie Diary Entry 1: The world doesn’t always correlate.

So today I began on my heroic quest to save my bear sister Tooty from the wrath of the evil witch Gruntilda with the help of my feathery friend Kazooie. Just another normal day.

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen it has begun, DDD14 has finally persuaded me to play Banjo Kazooie (however begrudgingly). So I decided to make a diary of my experience into the game. Just so you know I am emulating this on my laptop and streaming; so keep a lookout for our live streams on twitch TV.